For the past week and a half I have been spending my
afternoons sitting in my car wondering why the clouds couldn’t just cover the
sun and give me a respite from the blazing heat! I spend about an hour of my
day waiting for children in two different school pick-up lines. Every time I
get in my van I ask God to please let some of the fluffy white clouds, or dark
gray storm clouds, cover the sun that shines straight in my window at the elementary
school. Every day it seems that the clouds are all around me, but have formed a
convenient gap for the sun! As I sit in my smoldering hot car I complain and
get grouchy because I can see clouds everywhere, but I still feel the sun
slowly baking me.
Now you have to understand that I am a creature of the dark.
My husband often gets on to me because I prefer to sit without the lights on
and squint rather than turn on a light. I feel safe in the shadows where I can
hide my imperfections. The brightness of the sun makes me feel a bit
overexposed! I enjoy the quiet moments that darkness brings. I would love it if
there were a couple rainy days every week where I could sit with the windows
open and read a book while listening to the rain wash the world around me.
This morning as I was driving home after my morning shift of
dropping kids off, in the rain, I noticed that though gray clouds filled the
sky I could see a small break where the sun was peeking through. My first
thought was, “Oh great! There is the sun ruining my perfectly gloomy day!” Then
I saw it from a different perspective. There was rain falling all around. The
radio was talking about the thunder storms that would be popping up all day.
Yet I could see a glimpse of the sun. It was a little reminder that the light
of the sun is what burns the clouds away. It is always there even when the
storms around us hide its light.
Isn’t that just like God in my life? I take Him for granted
and forget to appreciate the warmth and clarity that He brings into my life on
a daily basis. He makes me uncomfortable when He is shining so bright that I
feel others can only see my faults and failures. When I am going through a turbulent
time in my life He is right there shining light on the situation to let me see
it more clearly. Sometimes I don’t like His point of view very much because it
doesn’t have room for the self-pity that I feel entitled to. It calls me to go
higher and see what He is trying to illuminate in my life. He has called me to
remove the things in my life that are blocking Him from people’s view. I must
remove the unnecessary things that I keep around to hide behind that are really
just blocking my view of Him. If I can erase myself so completely that He is
shining through me then people won’t see me at all. They will see His light
calling them to do the same.
So today when I pull into the car line, and the rain
suddenly stops and the sun starts shining through the clouds, I will remember
that the light has a purpose. I will embrace it and the uncomfortable place it
puts me in!
